


Free Falling

by TheIneffableLily



Series: Free Falling [1]
Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: BDSM, BDSM Scene, Bondage, Bottom Nicky | Nicolò di Genova, Kissing, M/M, Nipple Play, Oral Sex, Rebound Sex, Safe Sane and Consensual, Safewords, Spreader Bars, Top Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani, safe sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-19
Updated: 2020-09-19
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:01:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26541076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheIneffableLily/pseuds/TheIneffableLily
Summary: “Anyway,” Joe said, “that’s what a spreader bar is. In answer to your question.”“Right,” Nicky said. “Thank you.”“I’ll put this away, then.”Joe turned around to return the spreader bar to the bottom drawer of his closet.And Nicky found himself saying, “Don’t put it away just yet.”
Relationships: Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova, Nicky | Nicolo di Genova/Other(s)
Series: Free Falling [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1982570
Comments: 50
Kudos: 640





	Free Falling

**Author's Note:**

> A response to this prompt from the meme: Nicky is a closeted submissive.
> 
> It was meant to be a quick fill, but then it got away from me, as these things usually do. Comments are appreciated!

“How sturdy is this?”

Joe looked at the metal bar he was holding, considering its weight. “Uh, pretty sturdy.” He offered it to Nicky, who gave it a look that he hoped was more amused than apprehensive before taking it into his hands.

When Joe first got the spreader bar out of its drawer, it hadn’t looked nearly as intimidating as the name had made it out to be. It looked close to comical, the leather cuffs on each end dangling like lazy ornaments while emitting a barely-audible tinkle. However, once it was in his hands, Nicky could feel his nerves flaring up again. It was heavier than he’d expected. And stiff. Up close, that unfamiliar device looked _inflexible_ , and not just because it was made of metal.

“And you just…” Nicky let the question trail off into his own ignorance.

_And you just tie people to this and fuck their brains out? Is that how it works? Or are there beatings involved?_

As far as he knew - and he, admittedly, knew very little of these sorts of things - there was supposed to be leather pants involved. And tough-looking bearded men wielding menacing whips at frail-looking younger boys. At least, that was what he remembered from the occasional pornographic movie and from glancing uncomfortably at the leather-clad people at Pride.

Mark often scoffed at those people - _loudly_ , as to make his distaste well known. Then, he’d hold Nicky’s hand in a protective clutch and pull him along like he was afraid they might catch something if they stood too close. It was a bit of an overreaction, in Nicky’s opinion, but he often went along with it, nodding as Mark ranted angrily about how people like that were setting the movement back decades.

Nicky’s question was still hanging between them, incomplete and unanswered. Joe, kind as usual, seemed to take pity on him and explained, very matter-of-factly, “You bind the wrists to it. Or the ankles. Or, sometimes, I take the cuffs off and use rope instead.”

Nicky nodded as if he understood. He didn’t. The mechanics were clear enough, but that hadn’t been his question, exactly.

“Okay… why?”

“Why do I use rope, or why do I tie people up?”

All that Nicky could muster was a shrug.

“Well, I like rope because it’s aesthetically pleasing,” Joe continued in the same tone one might use to discuss the latest Netflix movie. “And I tie people up because it’s fun.”

“And don’t you ever feel… I don’t know, a bit ridiculous?”

Joe laughed. “Oh, all the time! Especially when I’m the one tied to that thing. I just keep going until I don’t.” He shrugged. “I mean, why let something like ridiculousness get in the way of pleasure?”

“I… see,” Nicky nodded very slowly, trying not to think of how Joe would look bound to that unyielding device. He offered it back to him.

Joe took it and asked, “You’ve done anything like this before?”

“My boyfriend wasn’t into this sort of thing. He just liked normal stuff.”

Joe quirked an eyebrow.

Hurriedly, Nicky added, “And by that, I don’t mean you’re _ab_ normal because you… I just mean he didn’t… do…” he motioned vaguely at nothing. It didn’t seem to help him make his point. “Didn’t do… that. Bondage. Thing.”

“It’s fine. I’m not offended,” Joe said, but then he paused. “No, I _am_ a little offended. But I know you didn’t mean to.”

“Sorry. I’m…”

Again, he had no idea how to finish that sentiment.

_I’m horrible at this._

_I was engaged just twelve days ago._

_I haven’t had a date in five years._

_I am not suited for this fuck first, ask questions later lifestyle._

Instead of words, Nicky huffed out a breath.

It must have meant something to Joe because he asked, “What about you?”

“What about me?”

“Your ex didn’t like it, but I asked about you.”

At least that was an easy question.

“I was with Mark.”

“And before that?”

“I was a priest.”

Joe stared at him and Nicky wished he’d told a lie. He hadn’t done this in a very long time, but he doubted he was supposed to dump all of his baggage on a guy who was a one-night stand. Granted, a one-night stand that had turned into a little three-day holiday of excellent rebound sex and interesting conversation, but a casual thing nonetheless.

“I did some missionary work,” he explained, when Joe didn’t say anything. “Traveled to disadvantaged areas. You know, shelter the homeless, feed the hungry. Spread the word of the Lord while you’re at it,” he added.

To his surprise, Joe chuckled. “Now I feel a little guilty.”

“Pardon me?”

“For doing ungodly things to a catholic priest.”

Joe winked at him, not at all embarrassed to be standing in the middle of his bedroom wearing nothing but boxer shorts while confessing to what seemed to be an extensive bondage collection. Nicky, on the other hand, stood in front of him in jeans and an undershirt but felt no less exposed for it. It was as though every question he asked revealed more about his shameful curiosity than about the man in front of him.

“ _Former_ priest,” he corrected. “And either way, I wasn’t complaining.”

Joe’s smile softened. It always did after a tease, as though he was trying to take the embarrassment away. Nicky didn’t think he would stop blushing any time soon, but that was still sweet of him.

“Anyway,” Joe said, “that’s what a spreader bar is. In answer to your question.”

“Right,” Nicky said. “Thank you.”

“I’ll put this away, then.”

Joe turned around to return the spreader bar to the bottom drawer of his closet.

And Nicky found himself saying, “Don’t put it away just yet.”

——

Five years ago, Joe would have sent Nicky running in the other direction. He spoke too smoothly, looked at him too hungrily. Nicky only needed one glance to understand his intentions and they weren’t to make an honest man out of him. That night, however, Nicky’s eyes were no longer swollen from crying and his usual caution and strict rules about dating were thrown to the wind because, well, fuck it. He’d done everything right with Mark and still ended up brokenhearted.

He’d found Mark through a mutual friend who’d vouched for his character and assured Nicky they were “perfect for each other”. They went to a proper restaurant for their first date, where they stumbled through language barriers and flirted extensively in Mark’s intermediate Italian and Nicky’s faulty English. In between innuendos and furtive touches, they talked about Mark’s career in private security and Nicky’s years with the Church.

“So you’re a good Catholic boy, then,” Mark had said, winking at him in a way that was more playful than teasing, but that still made Nicky’s heart skip a beat. For the next five years, his boyfriend would whisper that in his ear whenever he did something nice.

_My good Catholic boy._

It made him swoon, the thought of being good. The thought of being _his_.

Despite all of the flirting they’d done, Mark hadn’t even considered inviting himself up to Nicky’s apartment before their fifth date. And by then, Nicky was so glad to have found the one gay man in Rome who wasn’t in it for the sex that he hadn’t thought twice before offering him a blow job. It had been years since the last time he’d done that, but Mark didn’t complain at how slowly he moved, or how he choked on his length as it pressed the back of his throat.

Seven years he’d been a priest and Nicky hadn’t broken his vows once. He’d found great pleasure in other things. Prayer was uplifting. Helping others was godly. Seeing the fruit of his labor, the joy and relief in the faces of those he’d helped, was as close to seeing the face of God as he’d ever get.

But this - having Mark in his mouth, hearing as his breathing became more shallow, feeling his hand gently stroking his head, swallowing his seed dutifully as he came with a sigh of pure joy - was absolutely heavenly. Nicky knew then that leaving the Church had been the right decision. He could never be as happy as he was right then and there, with Mark smiling down on him, saying how wonderful he was.

It took them six months of serious dating before moving in together. Then another four months of discussing their future before Nicky abandoned his home country and followed Mark back to London. They worked for the same private security company, a job Nicky didn’t find particularly rewarding and would love to quit to do something else someday - once he figured out what that something else was. Still, it paid the bills and kept them in a comfortable two-bedroom apartment in central London.

As far as Nicky was concerned, he was on his way to the proverbial happy ending and he could only thank God for his luck. So many people moved from one meaningless relationship to the next, never really finding the right person with which to share their lives. Nicky, on the other hand, had gotten it right on his first try because _he had done everything right_.

And yet…

And yet, there he was, sitting in a bar, wondering how a five-year relationship had gotten to such a disastrous end. Only a month prior they’d been talking of making good on that engagement ring Nicky had been given last Christmas. Now, he was newly single.

No. Newly _dumped_.

He might as well rinse the smell of Mark off of his skin and replace it with someone else’s aftershave, and Joe seemed like the perfect choice. Joe - with his smooth talk and hungry eyes - seemed to be the exact opposite of the man he was meant to marry. Joe - who was handsome and interesting and _knew_ damn well how good he looked in those tight jeans - was _not_ looking for a boyfriend that night.

From the moment they met to the moment Joe asked him back to his apartment, it had to be less than forty-five minutes. He made pleasant conversation, bought him a drink (”To make up for the one I spilled.”), listened to Nicky briefly whine about his bad breakup, and then asked if he was looking for a rebound. Joe was, in his own words, an excellent rebound.

“I have references if you’d like to call them,” he told him and Nicky laughed. He’d laughed a lot more in forty-five minutes than he had in the last month. Maybe that was why he’d agreed to it so promptly. Or perhaps it’d been the tight jeans.

Joe only asked him, “Was that the only beer you had? If you’re drunk, I’d rather just have your number.”

Nicky found that rather classy of him. Most of the young men he’d fooled around with before taking his vows had needed a few shots to boost their courage and hardly faulted him for doing the same. The memories he had of those days were of awkward fumbling and kisses that tasted strongly of beer.

“I’ve only had one bottle,” he said.

Joe got to his feet and motioned for him to follow.

——

It was gentler than he’d assumed it would be. Or maybe that wasn’t the right word. Mark was gentle. He made love to Nicky with slow, considerate thrusts that kept him on the edge for a very long time, all the while kissing his cheek and neck, calling him beautiful and sweet, and dozens of other things that made Nicky smile.

_My good catholic boy. All mine._

Sex with Mark wasn’t adventurous, not even at the start. It had always been a familiar place for them to come to, perhaps the only area of their lives conflict wasn’t allowed to touch. When Mark was inside of him, everything that troubled them disappeared, and Nicky was reminded once again that what they had was worth protecting.

Joe, however, was a novelty. His hands were firm - not rough, not painful, just _strong_. They held the back of his head while they kissed on Joe’s couch, more constraining than Nicky had expected but soothing nonetheless. He didn’t even realize he was running out of breath until he had no choice but to emerge for air.

Joe stroked the back of his neck and pressed kisses to the corner of his mouth, giving him space to catch his breath without actually pulling away. Nicky let himself be stilled by his strong hands. They felt safe, like Nicky could fall over the edge of an endless abyss and Joe would simply reach out and hold him back before he went too deep.

“Do you still want to do this, Nicky?” Joe asked.

Nicky said yes. He’d been good for too long. He was long overdue an impulsive decision.

Joe moved on to kiss his jawline, the one hand that wasn’t cradling Nicky’s head working the buttons on his shirt. Nicky smoothed Joe’s sweater, never straying too far from his chest though his fingers were itching to reach inside his pants to find how his cock felt in his hand.

Joe asked, “How do you want to do this?”

Nicky dismissed the question with a quiet, “You can be on top.” He’d finally slipped under Joe’s sweater and was too distracted exploring the muscles on his belly. He pulled it over his head and tossed it on the floor. In the semi-darkness of the living room, Joe smiled, hair tussled in a mess of curls that Nicky smoothed down with his fingers.

He was gorgeous. Dark and charming and as fascinating as a wild creature keen on devouring him. How could one stay away from something as enthralling as that?

Joe kissed the inside of his wrist, welcoming his touch. He was looking him in the eyes when he asked, “How do you like to be fucked, Nicky?” which should have sounded crass and ugly but only served to send a thrill down Nicky’s spine. He was used to lying on his back because that was Mark’s favorite position - he always lasted longer with Nicky staring right into his soul, whispering how good it felt to be loved by such a wonderful man. It was unimaginative, but it never failed to make him come.

Nicky whispered something else to Joe. It made him feel a little vulgar, but he’d be gone in the morning and if his one-night stand wanted to pass judgment on his preferences, he wouldn’t be in his bed long enough to see it.

A few minutes later, those strong, firm hands were pinning him down to the mattress as Joe penetrated him from behind. Nicky’s hips were lifted up to meet him and his knees were so far apart the inside of his thighs felt like they were on fire. Joe’s fingers were interlocked between Nicky’s tight grip and his breath was tickling the back of Nicky’s ear with warm words.

“Tell me if it hurts. I’ll slow down.”

Nicky didn’t want to slow down and he didn’t mind when the pressure became a little more pained than he was used to. It was good. It was intense. Most importantly, it was nothing like fucking gentle Mark and his fucking gentle thrusts and his fucking gentle lies.

Then Joe hit his prostate and Nicky couldn’t remember how to breathe, let alone how to mourn the end of his relationship. It was good to be under another man’s body, to feel his weight pressing him down without fear of smothering him. There was no space to get away, to speak, to think. All that was left for Nicky to do was give in to pleasure and let it wash over him, leaving nothing in its wake but absolute quiet.

Once they were both done and the sticky feeling between his belly and the sheet became too unpleasant, Nicky sucked in some breath and prepared to say he had to leave. That was the way one-night stands were supposed to go, as far as he remembered. Lingering in a stranger’s bed was poor etiquette - besides, he didn’t want to wait for the other guy to kick him out. His pride had already taken one blow that month and he didn’t think he could take another one.

Nicky opened his mouth to speak, but what came out was a pathetic, “I don’t usually do this.”

Joe grunted a lazy sound and didn’t bother getting off of him. Nicky felt his beard on his back as he kissed the space between his shoulder blades.

“You’re pretty good for an amateur, then,” Joe said.

Nicky closed his eyes and enjoyed the feeling of Joe’s beard on his skin, which was quite unlike anything he’d gotten used to in the last five years. Perhaps Nile had a point and this was the best way to get over a bad breakup: falling into bed with the first cock that made itself available. Not that he’d ever admit to it. It’d be his little secret, an indiscretion he’d take to the grave.

After some time, Joe rolled off of him, his handsome face looking satisfied and happy. He got rid of the used condom and handed him some tissues from his nightstand. Nicky wiped himself and the sheets clean while wondering how many men Joe brought back to his flat regularly. The whole experience seemed to be rather commonplace for him.

Or maybe that was just the way normal people reacted to casual sex and the fact that he was now overthinking the whole thing was only proof that Nicky would not survive the carnivorous world of modern dating.

 _Well, better get used to it_ , he thought. _They’re not all going to be handsome, mysterious strangers who like to cuddle after_. _And none of them are going to be like Mark_.

Joe held him by the hand. There were wrinkles around his eyes from smiling.

“That was fun.”

Nicky sighed and tried to relax again.

“It was,” he said. Then, after a moment, he added, “I needed that.”

“You know, rebound sex only counts if you do it twice.”

Nicky threw him a look.

Joe shrugged. “Sorry, I don’t make the rules.”

“Is that the English way?”

“Wouldn’t know it. I’m German.”

“I see.”

Nicky added that to the list of facts he knew about his bedmate. So far, that short list consisted of his name, his career (some sort of artist, judging by the atelier downstairs), and his nationality. Oh, and he was very good in bed. As far as poor decisions went, Nicky could have done much worse.

“If you have to work in the morning,” Joe said, not letting go of his hand, “I understand. But I’ll gladly call your boss and tell him you had food poisoning or something. That should grant you a day off. Or two.”

He was smiling. Nicky wanted to smile too, but found that he couldn’t.

“I don’t have a job anymore.”

Joe winced. “Sorry.”

Nicky shrugged. “It’s fine. It was for the best. I couldn’t handle seeing Mark every day.”

Joe turned to rest on his elbow and look at him.

“Ah,” he said, “it’s a messy kind of breakup.”

“You have no idea,” Nicky said, but he didn’t elaborate on it. He didn’t want to think about everything that losing Mark entailed - the job, the apartment, the friends… had he really just lost everything because his fiance had grown tired of him? Sometimes, it still felt like he was having a terrible dream.

Joe brushed hair away from his forehead with delicate fingers, still looking at him like he wanted Nicky to say something. Perhaps he expected him to pour his heart out now that the sex was out of the way, but Nicky didn’t feel like crying on a stranger’s shoulders, no matter how handsome he was.

“Why do you have so many hooks?” he asked instead.

“Hm?”

Nicky pointed up. Joe turned his head up and looked as though he’d forgotten all about that. He examined the half a dozen metal rings protruding from the navy blue ceiling, then stated, “I’m into bondage,” like it was the most natural answer to his question.

Somehow, that made even less sense to Nicky than if he’d just shrugged and confessed to having five potted ferns and a hammock.

“I’m… sorry?”

“You know, tying people up. Or down. Whatever suits them.”

“You tie people to your ceiling?”

“Sometimes.”

In the silence that followed, Joe laughed. “The look on your face.”

“Pardon me?”

“Oh no, I’m in bed with a _pervert_!”

“I wasn’t thinking that,” Nicky said, but he was a terrible liar and Joe could probably see the alarm in his eyes.

“Don’t worry, Nicky,” Joe said, already kissing him again. “I’m not in the habit of tying handsome men up on the first night. I can think of many, _many_ other things I’d enjoy doing instead.”

Nicky eyed the silver rings on the ceiling, a question tickling the back of his throat, wanting to get out. If Mark knew where he was right now, he’d be disgusted.

 _How far you’ve fallen_ , he could hear him scoff in his head. _Two weeks ago, you were engaged, and now you’re already spreading your legs - far and wide, I might add - for some degenerate you picked up at a bar_.

Yeah, Mark would be scandalized at the mere thought of that.

It was quite thrilling. Nicky pulled Joe on top of him again. He might not be a keeper but he was a damn good rebound.

——

His plans of leaving in the next morning were curtailed by Joe making him pancakes for breakfast - and then bending him over the kitchen counter once the badly burned pancakes were thrown out.

“Am I forgiven?” Joe asked after pulling out of his body. Nicky gave him a puzzled look, his heart hammering against the cold marble counter. “For being a terrible host?”

Nicky told him, “No. Keep apologizing.”

So he did. Not immediately, he allowed Nicky an hour to catch his breath and to make do with his limited pantry supplies to whisk together an omelet. But it wasn’t long before they fell back into bed for a lazy make-out session that was more quieting than arousing. That, too, was something Nicky found that he needed: to be held and kissed for no reason. That was the first thing to go in his relationship and he hadn’t realized how much he missed it until Joe had him in his arms.

In between the sex and the kisses, there were stretches of flirtatious conversation that never strayed too far into private topics, but that painted a better picture of the man whose bed Nicky had been sharing for longer than he’d expected. Joe was a painter - a successful one, judging by his three-story house in the middle of Soho. He’d relocated to London seven years prior to help a friend through a difficult time and simply never left. He was well-traveled, well-read, and made Nicky laugh without even trying. Basically, he was raising the stakes for every future one-night stand Nicky was bound to have in the future, the bloody bastard.

 _Way to ruin what was meant to be a perfectly mediocre experience_ , Nicky thought with a smile.

Mark didn’t come up again, Nicky made sure of that, and the one time Joe tried to pry a little deeper, he changed the subject by asking, “So you hang people from your ceiling.”

Joe got the hint and dropped his line of questioning into why his relationship had come to an end.

“When you put it like that, I sound like a serial killer. But that’s the gist of it. Or from the bed.” He motioned at the double doors that led from the living room to the bedroom. “I got a four-poster for a reason. Very sturdy.”

Nicky waited for him to say something else. He didn’t. Which, in retrospect, was probably a strategic move on his part. Nicky had to sit with his curiosity for a few hours, wondering about the four-poster bed and how exactly Joe went about - how had he put it? Tying handsome men down.

Sometime between the second and third day, when it was still dark out but Nicky could hear the first sounds of traffic out of Joe’s open window, he dared ask, “Can you show me?” half-hoping Joe had already fallen asleep. Nicky had done his best to exhaust him only a few minutes prior.

Joe let out a sigh and pulled Nicky’s arm tighter around himself.

“In the morning,” he promised. “I’ll show you anything you want to know.”

Nicky thought of the rings on the ceiling, of his hand lost in Joe’s hair as he got on top of him for the first time. Of Joe’s commanding voice telling him to pull harder. To fuck him deeper.

Nicky thought of Mark’s judgmental eyes when he said, _This isn’t normal. This isn’t right._ And his heart squeezed with a familiar shame that burned bright for so long Nicky thought it might be better to slip away while his lover was still asleep. That way, he wouldn’t have to look too closely at his curiosity.

Then, Joe turned around just enough to peck a kiss to his lips and go back to sleep.

Nicky scooted closer and held him tighter, finding that he wasn’t ready to leave just yet.

——

It wasn’t entirely clear how Nicky had gone from casually asking “about the thing you wanted to show me…” at breakfast to sitting at the foot of Joe’s bed, offering him his wrist. He supposed everyone had the right to experiment a little. He’d done plenty of that in the last three days alone, so what was one more?

“I do feel a little silly,” Nicky confessed, as Joe took his wrist in his hand and kiss it. Even though he was the one who was supposed to be in control of the situation (or so Nicky assumed), he was kneeling before him, looking almost grateful to be at his feet. Like tying him down was a great privilege he didn’t take for granted.

“That’s fine,” Joe said, placing his wrist in the strap and closing the leather around it. “Just tell me if it’s too much to handle.”

Nicky thought the leather would feel rough on his skin, but the inside was lined with something softer and it closed snuggly around him. Though Joe hadn’t asked, he offered him his right arm as well and watched closely as the leather was wrapped around him a second time, two feet away from the other.

Nicky lifted both hands, bringing along the spreader bar. Like this, it felt heavier and it left very little space to move. Overall, his first assessment had been right: that device was truly inflexible.

Joe was looking at him, waiting for his verdict, but Nicky found that he couldn’t yet translate the nervous flutter in his belly into words, so he asked, “What if you have a heart attack and I need to get out?”

“There’s a failsafe.” Joe pointed between the cuff and the bar. “It’s connected with a snap hook, see? You gotta twist your wrist, but you can do it. Or I can if something goes wrong. You don’t want to wait for me to unbuckle it if you get a cramp.”

“And other giving people cramps, what is this good for?”

“Oh, many things. For example-”

Joe held the middle of the bar with a firm hand and pushed it over Nicky’s head. Nicky realized what he was doing from the start, but didn’t bother trying to stop him. In a matter of seconds, he was pinned back on the mattress with Joe on top of him.

“Oh, I see, so that was your plan all along,” Nicky said, unfazed.

Joe smiled sheepishly, the hand that was pinning the bar down not making much of an effort to keep Nicky from moving.

“I’m just playing,” he said. “I’ll get off you if you’re uncomfortable.”

“I’m not uncomfortable,” he said, and it was true. Nervous, yes. And possibly aroused. But nothing about Joe felt threatening. “Besides, you’re vulnerable.”

Joe gave him a smug look. “Oh, really? I believe you’re the one who- _woah_!”

Nicky planted a foot on the mattress and tilted his hip upwards. Joe teetered on top of him, flailing his arms and immediately letting him go. He regained his balance before toppling to the floor - Nicky _could_ have pushed harder, but he quite enjoyed Joe’s naked body weighing him down. Also, he didn’t know the range of activities Joe got to in the bedroom, but he had a strong suspicion smashing his face on the floor, and breaking his nose _wasn’t_ one of his kinks.

Joe stared at him, bewildered. Nicky cocked an eyebrow. “ _You_ ’re vulnerable.”

Joe cleared his throat. “Are they teaching missionaries Karate now?”

“Krav Maga,” Nicky corrected. “And Jiu-Jitsu. And I was the one doing the teaching.”

“Really?”

Nicky shrugged like it was not a big deal. Mark had told him repeatedly that it was emasculating to date someone who could knock him out in a fight. He often repeated that when they sparred, which invariably ended with Mark pinned to the floor and in a sour mood for the rest of the day. Nicky had let him win once, but Mark had seen him coming a mile away, and that had led to an even worse fight.

Better not to spar at all, they both decided. It stopped them from bringing out the worst in each other.

“We went through desolate places,” Nicky told Joe. “It’s good to know how to protect yourself. And I wanted everyone to feel safe.”

Joe looked impressed. “So you can beat me with your hands tied, yeah? That’s fucking sexy.”

Joe went back to holding him down and adjusted his weight so Nicky could feel him getting hard against his stomach.

Nicky swallowed a lump in his throat and said, “You’re making it easy. You need to move closer to the chest.”

Joe leaned into his ear.

“I just think you want to have my cock closer to your mouth.”

Nicky felt a shiver from the base of his neck to the end of his toes. Joe must have felt it, too, because he began grinning against his ear.

“Is that what you want, Nicky? I couldn’t get your mouth away from me all night-”

“ _Fuck_ , Joe,” he practically groaned.

Joe nibbled his ear and kissed his cheek, but only pressed a very soft kiss to his lips, pulling away immediately. Nicky tried to follow, but Joe pressed the spreader bar back on the mattress, making it impossible for him to follow. He was trapped on that spot, Joe’s lips hanging above him, _just_ outside his reach, his erection now heavy inside his shorts. He could grind his cock on Nicky’s skin while pinning him down and there wasn’t much to be done about it.

His tongue darted out, trying to get a taste of his lips, but Joe pulled even further away.

He chuckled, “Needy!” and if Nicky’s face had cooled down by then, it was quickly turning red once again.

He pulled halfheartedly at his restrains when Joe went back to peppering kisses along his jawline. There was only the sound of his lips, the tinkle of the metal, and the scratch of his beard, all of which making it clear that he wasn’t going anywhere.

It wasn’t at all unpleasant.

“Do you want me to let you go?” Joe asked.

Nicky thought about it. On the one hand, he wanted out of his jeans. He wanted to wrap his arms around that man and pull him closer, the way he’d gotten used to the last three days. He needed to have his mouth on his again so that he could kiss him until they were both out of breath.

On the other hand… he was intrigued.

“It’s up to you, babe,” Joe said, brushing hair away from his face with his free hand. “But if you want to stay like this a little longer, I can show you a few things.”

“I wouldn’t know what to do.”

“You don’t have to do anything. You just have to be very still and take what I give you.”

Nicky tested his restraints one more time with a halfhearted tug.

He said, “Okay.”

Joe smiled and leaned in to give him a proper kiss. Then, he slid off of him, pulling Nicky behind him. “Get up.” It didn’t sound commanding, more coaxing him to his feet and Nicky followed him without fear. “You kept looking at the ceiling, did you know? When you thought I wasn’t looking.”

Nicky’s first instinct was to claim “I wasn’t!” like he’d been caught committing a horrible crime, but he fought the urge and stayed quiet instead. He focused on the way Joe adjusted the leather cuffs as he spoke.

“I think I’m going to satisfy your curiosity, then.”

He took two steps to his closet and knelt down to open the bottom drawer, one hand still holding on to the bar and keeping Nicky in place. Nicky didn’t know if he was doing that to exert control over him, or because he thought he’d feel safer being dragged along instead of standing awkwardly in the middle of his bedroom. Either way, Nicky didn’t complain.

He peeked over Joe’s head as he moved things around. Nicky couldn’t make out much of what was in the drawer from where he was standing, but he thought he saw a wooden paddle before Joe fished two smaller chains and closed the drawer.

He guided Nicky back to the center of the room and used the chains to attach the bar to two metal rings on the ceiling. Nicky wriggled a little, testing the way he felt. Still a little ridiculous, to be perfectly honest. There was something so… strangely anti-climatic about the whole thing. Like he’d made it out to be something much bigger in his head than it actually was.

“Does that hurt, Nicky?”

He rolled his shoulders. The bedroom ceiling was tall enough that Joe’d had to climb onto the bed to reach them, but Nicky’s arms were hanging just above his head. The cuffs felt tighter around his wrists, but they didn’t bite unpleasantly into the skin. His fingers instinctively looked for the snap hook that connected him to the rest of the contraption. He’d have to strain to reach it, but he could do it. Knowing that made him relax a little.

“Doesn’t hurt,” he said. “Is-is this safe?”

“It’s not gonna give,” Joe said, smoothing his chest with both hands. “I installed this myself.”

“I’m heavy.”

“You’re not. And I learned my lesson the first time I collapsed a ceiling.”

Nicky turned his head as best he could. “You’re kidding me.”

“Nope. Talk about killing the mood.”

Nicky laughed. “I want to hear that story later.”

“I’ll tell you over lunch.”

Joe held his face.

“You okay so far?”

“I still feel silly.”

“I don’t think you’re silly.” Joe gave him a look over. “I think you’re the sexiest fucking thing I’ve ever seen.”

“You’ve got a mouth on you.”

Joe leaned forward but Nicky recoiled. “I don’t have to call you ‘sir’ or anything, do I? I don’t think I can do it with a straight face.”

He tagged a little chuckle to the sentence.

Joe was smiling. He brushed his hair away from his face. “You don’t have to call me anything, Nicky. Just tell me to stop if you’re hurting or if you’re uncomfortable.”

“Okay.”

“And let me know if you’re going numb. Don’t soldier on just because it’s ‘not that bad’. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“Okay.”

“Do you know what a safeword is?”

“Yes, but… I’ll just say ‘stop’.”

Joe shook his head. “That’s a horrible safeword. I’ll stop if you ask me to, but I need something to let me know you want out of these quickly. Just in case you’re hurt or overwhelmed.”

“Oh. Okay.”

“So…” Joe wrapped his arms around him, thinking, “you can say ‘stop’ if you need to take a breath, and if you need to be let out, you can say ‘red’.”

Nicky nodded slowly.

“Got that?”

“Yes.”

“Repeat it back to me, then.”

“Stop for a breath. Red to get out.”

“Good boy.”

Joe kissed him, long and deep. His hands slid down his back and cupped his ass over his jeans.

“You’re so sexy like this,” he said, pulling back. He seemed truly happy.

Nicky tried to cover his embarrassment by looking down at his shorts. “Won’t you take these off?”

“You don’t get to tell me what to do, babe. You’re not in charge.”

He spoke with a lazy smile that made his words softer, but no less true. Just to see what he would do, Nicky took a step back. Joe’s arm just brought him back immediately.

“No, you’re not going anywhere. Stay here, close to me.”

Nicky settled against him, eyes downcast, and a smile on his face.

Joe brushed his nose against his but didn’t ask him to look up. “Do you want me to cover your eyes? Some people are more comfortable that way.”

He nodded, glad that he didn’t have to ask.

“I’ll step away for a moment.”

He expected a soft fabric, but Joe brought out a large mask made of leather that covered his eyes so completely he couldn’t peek even if he lifted his head.

“Is everything you own made of leather?” he asked, then bit his tongue. Maybe he should stop babbling. People didn’t babble in these situations, did they?

Joe didn’t seem to mind and said, “Yes. They take your membership away if you don’t have at least 20 leather items with you at all times.”

Nicky laughed.

“I’m not kidding,” he said, adjusting the back of the mask over his eyes. “It’s a very select group. Lots of rules.”

Joe held him from behind.

Nicky took a deep breath and let it out slowly. He found the darkness comforting. In bed, he’d looked deep into Joe’s eyes as they lied side by side, talking about nothing. He had beautiful eyes, the kind one might get lost into if he wasn’t too careful. But like this, not knowing where to look was a little overwhelming - was he supposed to keep his eyes low as a sign of subservience? Or did Joe expect him to keep his chin up? He didn’t think he could do that.

The dark was better. It lifted a weight off of his shoulders that Nicky didn’t even know was there. He feared for a moment that he’d be disoriented, but Joe was right behind him, grounding him, waiting for him to get used to the blindfold.

“Don’t leave.”

“I’m not going to,” Joe promised, hands already sneaking under Nicky’s undershirt and stroking his belly. “I’ll be touching you the entire time.”

He pulled the hem over his head, leaving his chest exposed.

Nicky shifted from one foot to the other, hard inside his jeans and becoming impatient.

“I’m still overdressed.”

“You are very bossy, you know that?” Joe said though it didn’t sound like he thought that was a bad quality. Not at all. “We’ll have to work on that.”

He teased his nipples with only the tips of his fingers, but that was enough to make them harden. Nicky felt his breath getting caught in his throat.

Behind him, Joe was smiling.

“They’re so sensitive. I noticed that the first night.”

Nicky remembered that. Joe had spent a long time sucking on them while pumping his cock with a merciless hand. The scrape of his teeth against the sensitive skin had sent shudders through his entire body. He’d had to bite down on his lips to stop himself from screaming as he came.

“Have you ever come just from this?”

Nicky shook his head.

“I bet I can make you. Not today, but I bet I can. Can you handle a little bit of pain?”

Another nod.

“I need to hear your voice.”

“Yes.”

He held his nippled between thumb and forefinger, putting just a little pressure to his touch. It wasn’t painful, not yet, and Nicky leaned back against Joe’s chest, offering his neck for him to kiss, which he did.

“Is this too much?”

“No.”

He pinched harder, increasing the pressure slowly until Nicky hissed. He let go and nibbled on his shoulder while he calmed down.

When his breathing returned to normal, he pinched again. This time, when Nicky let out a little moan, Joe didn’t make it worse, but he didn’t let go either.

“Deep breaths. You’re doing so well. Just a little longer.”

His grip was fiercer than the scrape of his teeth, more painful. It cornered him in the dark and, for a few brief seconds, that sharp pinch was all that he knew and- fuck, he wanted out of those jeans. _Now_.

After a few more seconds, Nicky finally said, “Red- no wait- I meant- _shit_ -”

Joe, who had immediately taken a step back, put his arms around him again.

“It’s okay.”

“I meant stop. Sorry.”

“It’s fine.”

Nicky shook his head, flustered. “I’m an idiot.”

“You’re not. Don’t say that.” He planted a kiss on his shoulder. “You’re doing well.”

“Yeah?”

“Really well.” He slid his hand back up again. “Let’s try this one more time. Tell me to stop when it’s too much.”

He gave his nipples another pinch, just a little sharper than before. And Nicky did just as he’d told him to, taking deep breaths and focusing on the pain until it strayed a little too far from pleasure. He told him to stop and Joe did.

“Easy now,” Joe said and Nicky thought he could hear the pride in his voice. “You’re doing really well.”

Nicky couldn’t help but swell with pride at that.

“Do you like a bit of pain?”

“I don’t know,” he said. “I think I might.”

He finally unbuckled his belt, saying, “I’ll tread carefully, then.”

Nicky tried to smile. “Hope you’re not planning on pinching anything down there.”

It didn’t feel right to joke when he was in this position. He doubted any of Joe’s previous partners had been so talkative. They probably took these things much more seriously.

But Joe was laughing, too. “Wouldn’t dream of it.”

He lowered his pants to his knees, freeing his erection and immediately taking it in hand. Behind him, he could feel Joe’s hard cock against his ass through the fabric of his boxers. Nicky spread his legs as far apart as he could with his jeans still around his knees, inviting him to come even closer and take him.

Joe ignored that and brought his hand up to his mouth.

“Lick it.”

Nicky lapped at his palm and sucked on his fingers until they were slick. Joe went back to stroking him while his left fingers started to pinch his nipple again and Nicky had no idea where to focus his attention.

“Fuck,” he breathed out, hanging from his wrists and suddenly feeling very malleable under Joe’s attention. “You keep doing that, you’re gonna make me come.”

“Good. Come as much as you want, Nicky. That’s the whole point.”

Nicky shook his head. He didn’t want to come yet. He wasn’t ready to see it all come to an end.

“Stop, please.”

Joe let go of him. “Too much?”

“I just need a break.”

“Okay.”

Joe took the time to pull his jeans away and then did the same to his shorts. He traced a finger at the edge of Nicky’s bundled up shirt.

“Is this hurting you?”

“No.”

“How about your arms?”

“They’re fine.”

“Can we go on?”

“Yes. Please.”

This time, Joe’s hand reached for his cock from between his legs, tugging down on him. Nicky jolted and made the cuffs rattle, but he spread his legs further apart.

“Do something for me. Get on the tips of your toes.”

Nicky shifted to the balls of his feet.

Joe leveled his arm up between his legs, forcing him to move. “No, a little higher.”

He went up until only his toes were still on the floor, lounging his body forward. He teetered.

“I’m gonna fall!”

“Shh…” Joe immediately passed his other arm around him, steadying him and taking some of the weight off of his feet. “Easy… I’m right here and you’re all tied up. There’s nowhere for you to go.”

That was true. The leather was biting into his skin and even if he let go, he’d probably just sway helplessly above the floor. Except that Joe wasn’t letting him go anytime soon. He was safe in his arms.

“Okay?” Joe asked.

Nicky adjusted his arms until they locked into a more comfortable position and he could hold the bar above his head so that most of the effort of standing straight fell more on his back than his shoulders.

“I’m okay now.”

“Does it hurt?”

He examined his body, recognizing a growing ache in his muscles, but it wasn’t different from what he’d endured while training.

“Not too much.”

“Stand like this for a moment, yes?”

His arm loosened around him, then slipped back until only a reassuring hand remained on his left hip. Nicky’s shoulders protested and his legs were beginning to shake, but he stood as still as he could. Joe’s other hand continued to hold on to his cock.

“Beautiful. You’re so good at this, Nicky. Look how well you follow instructions. And you’re trying so hard to be obedient.”

He stopped masturbating him and scrapped his nails up the outside of his thighs, making him shiver.

“Perfect form. Strong legs… perked-up ass… straight back…”

His nails traveled up, leaving a tickling feeling on his straining muscles. Nicky wanted to shake that off, to scratch that itch or squirm away, but he couldn’t. Not when Joe was calling him perfect and obedient.

“Beautiful… absolutely beautiful. Are your legs tired?”

“I guess, a bit.”

“Let’s get back on the floor, then.”

His hands rested on his shoulders and pressed down gently. Nicky wanted to lower himself gracefully, but his legs gave in almost immediately. Joe didn’t scold him for it; he was too busy kissing down his spine and kneeling so he could better stroke his legs.

“I’ll give you a massage later. I don’t want you to get sore.”

Without warning, Joe sank his teeth into his right cheek and didn’t let go until Nicky let out a pained “Ouch!” that sounded almost like a chuckle. Joe licked the imprint of his teeth, but Nicky was sure there’d be a bruise there the next day.

 _A souvenir of a good night_ , he thought. _Something to remember him by_.

“Do you want to come now, Nicky?”

He didn’t answer.

“Nicky?”

“I don’t want it to be over.”

Joe smoothed his thighs, his big, strong hands going up and down the sore muscles, easing the ache that was slowly setting in his chest.

“I don’t want to push you too hard,” he said, getting to his feet. Nicky could feel him, hands trailing up his sides, lips brushing over his back. And then he was in his ear again, speaking his warm, comforting words while Nicky floated in the dark. “Let me make you feel good, Nicky.”

He didn’t answer. Whatever he might say then would give too much away. He wasn’t meant for short-lived thrills. He wasn’t made for romantic adventures that were over as soon as they started.

 _I don’t want to leave_.

_Don’t let me down and then ask me to leave._

Joe asked, “What is it that you still want to try, Nicky?”

Nicky started answering with a confused “what?”, but soon Joe’s hand was on his cock again and all he could do was hiss through his teeth and lean back on him.

“Anything, Nicky,” he said, twisting his hand as he stroked him. “What is it you think about when you’re alone? I’ll let you come anyway. You’ve earned it for being so good. But if you’re brave for me, I’ll suck you off.”

Scrambled thoughts flashed in the dark and Nicky struggled to pick something out of the mess. He could still feel Joe’s erection against his ass, showing great restraint by not rubbing himself off on him. There was a loud part of him that wanted nothing more than to spread his legs and ask to be taken like this, with his hands tied above his head and relinquishing all control to this handsome stranger.

But then he remembered Mark looking at him from the other side of the bed, trying not to look too judgmental but failing miserably. Joe wouldn’t look at him that way if he asked. It’d probably fall into the realm of things he considered _vanilla_. Something mild that would do nothing for him.

In a tone that sounded almost like an apology, Nicky asked, “Can you hold my neck?”

The hand on his cock let go and slid up his chest until it fit perfectly underneath his jawline. Nicky swallowed down nothing in his mouth. His apple bobbed against Joe’s palm.

“Like this? Or do you want me to choke you?”

He asked that question as if it should bring him no shame, but Nicky still felt himself blushing.

“No, just... maybe just a little tighter-”

Nicky took in a breath as Joe’s fingers squeezed - and then he exhaled, his neck relaxing against the pressure. For a while, neither of them moved.

“I know it’s not very-” Nicky tried to say, but Joe cut in, “It’s sexy. Did no one ever do this to you?”

“Mark said it wasn’t normal.”

There was a pause in conversation and he could feel Joe exhaling heavily against his back.

“Your ex-boyfriend sounds like a dick.”

 _Fiance_ , Nicky didn’t say. He couldn’t form words.

“So what if it’s not normal?” Joe asked, gentler than his anger should allow. “Do you like it?”

Nicky examined the feel of his hand over his throat, the heavy arm across his chest that pulled him closer, the tip of his cock teasing his ass.

He sighed. “It’s perfect.”

“You’re perfect,” Joe said. “Thank you for trusting me to do this.”

Nicky felt a lump forming in his throat.

“Let me give you what you deserve for being so brave.”

He kissed his shoulder before letting go of his neck.

“I’m just gonna get a condom.”

“Okay.”

“Stay here.”

Nicky snorted a laugh and the emotion that was threatening to pour out of him rescinded. By the time Joe stood in front of him again, he had a smile on his lips that he could kiss.

“So brave… so very good.”

Joe knelt before him and Nicky felt the condom being unrolled over his length. And then fluttering kiss on his lower belly.

“Stay very still. Let me take care of you.”

Nicky did his best to do as he was told though he wanted nothing more than to fuck into his throat. Joe had had him in his mouth twice already, always slow and teasing and keeping his eyes up, watching his reaction in the dark bedroom. Nicky had returned the favor only once, and Joe insisted on wearing a condom for that as well, even when Nicky said he didn’t mind.

“That’s not safe, don’t let other guys do that to you,” Joe had told him.

This felt more to the point. Even through the thin layer of latex, his tongue lapped insistently and his hand kept stroking him, trying to get him to climax quickly. Nicky couldn’t see him, but he still felt certain that Joe had his eyes on him, watching his reaction and paying attention to every sound Nicky couldn’t suppress.

And under his watchful eyes, with his hands tied to the ceiling and nowhere to go to get away from his mouth and his hands, he had no choice but to let go and orgasm in Joe’s mouth.

There were a few seconds of silence, peppered by gentle kisses to his thighs and thumbs caressing his hip bones. Nicky wanted to say something, to express how wonderful he felt, but his bones felt like they were made of water and he was still catching his breath. All he could do was nod when Joe asked if he was okay.

He was okay. He hadn’t felt better in a long time.

Joe was careful to let him down, moving slowly to unclasp the cuffs instead of unbuckling them, then directing Nicky to the bed so he could lie down. The pulled the condom off, wiped him clean, and undid the straps around his wrists. Only when he was lying comfortably on a soft pillow and breathing normally again did Joe remove the blindfold. Nicky gave him a dazed look.

Instinctively, Nicky reached for his erection, but Joe pulled his hand away and held it in his.

“I’m okay for now.”

“Sure?”

“Yeah. I just want you to relax.”

He felt relaxed. He’d never felt so relaxed before.

Joe kissed his temple, still holding his hand.

“Was the pain too much?”

“No. I liked it.” He paused. “I think I’d like to do that again.”

“Good. I had fun.”

Nicky smiled. “What else do you have in that drawer?”

“A lot of things. I’d love to show them to you later if you’d like me to.”

“I would.” Nicky sighed, contented. “I’d like that very much.”

Joe shifted beside him to lie next to him on the pillow. Nicky scooted closer and let his arms fall around him.

“Nicky?”

“Hm?”

“Next time I suck you off… I’d like to swallow.”

Nicky opened his eyes just a bit. For the first time, he thought he could see a tint of red on Joe’s cheeks.

“What I mean is,” he continued, treading carefully, “if you want to keep doing this, I think we should get tested. Just to be sure. If you’re comfortable with it.”

It was rather endearing that Joe sounded so sure while toying with his body and speaking filth into his ear, but so subdued when asking that question. As though that, of all things, was the thing that might put Nicky off of this sort of arrangement they’d stumbled into.

Nicky ran a soothing hand through Joe’s hair.

“Yeah, we should do that,” he said, and Joe let out a deep breath he’d been holding as he waited for an answer.

Nicky held on to his hand and stole a glance at the window. They were coming closer to the afternoon and there was no point falling back asleep, but he didn’t dare move just yet. Maybe in an hour or so, they’d finally get up and Nicky could ask Joe out on a proper date.

**Author's Note:**

> In case you're wondering, Mark started out as Keane, but then I discovered Nicky's ex was more insecure than an asshole, so feel free to imagine him any way you'd like.


End file.
